- ಡಿ.ವಿ. ಗುಂಡಪ್ಪ (ಡಿವಿಜಿ)
The thirst for validation destroys the soul before anything else.
The more I grow, observe people, and reflect on life, the more I realize how deeply society runs on validation.
Some seek validation through success.
Some through appearance.
Some through social status.
And many, without even realizing it, slowly begin to live entirely based on what others think of them.
And that is where the problem begins!
Because a person constantly dependent on validation: cannot rest, cannot be authentic, cannot live freely.
Their happiness is always tied to someone else’s opinion.
Somewhere along the way, many of us stopped living and started performing.
We smile for acceptance.
We hide emotions to appear strong.
We chase achievements not always because we want them—but because they make us look valuable in society.
Even pain today seeks approval.
And social media has only amplified this further.
Likes became self-worth.
Attention became achievement.
Visibility became value.
I also feel this quietly affects mental health more than we realize.
Take something as common as body shaming, A person may be perfectly healthy, kind, capable, and emotionally strong. Yet one careless comment about appearance can slowly shake their confidence—not because the comment defines them, but because society conditioned them to seek acceptance externally.
I sometimes notice this in workplaces too—especially in IT culture.
With deadlines, responsibilities, and constant expectations, it is natural for many of us to value appreciation and acknowledgment. A kind word from a manager, recognition in a meeting, or a good appraisal can genuinely motivate and encourage us.
But somewhere along the way, if we are not careful, we may slowly begin depending too much on external validation to feel confident about ourselves.
And over time, that can quietly become tiring emotionally.
That is emotional dependency disguised as ambition.
Over time, I’ve started asking myself a simple question:
If nobody applauded me, would I still do what I’m doing?
That question changes everything.
Because authenticity begins where performance ends.
Authenticity is not rebellion.
It is not carelessness.
It simply means:
- being comfortable with who we are
without constantly editing ourselves for acceptance!
And honestly, this is easier said than done.
We all want to be understood. Appreciated. Accepted.
That is human.
But somewhere, a line must exist between: 👉 seeking love
and
👉 losing ourselves for approval.
There’s a line I once heard, and despite my broken Hindi 😅, it stayed with me deeply:
“Woh tha zindagi mein… jab tak zinda tha, woh sochta raha — ‘woh chaar log kya kahenge?’
Lekin marne ke waqt poocha — ‘kahan hai woh chaar log?’
Kabhi mile hi nahi.”
How true is that.
So much of life is sacrificed for imaginary audiences.
People postpone happiness.
Hide their truth.
Suppress their individuality.
All because of “log kya kahenge.”
And in the process, they slowly drift away from themselves.
Maybe real peace begins when:
appreciation becomes optional.
authenticity becomes natural.
and self-worth comes from within.
Not from applause!
Because at the end of the day, no amount of external validation can compensate for inner emptiness.
So today, I remind myself of something simple.
Live honestly.
Express freely.
Improve continuously.
But don’t let the need for validation consume your peace.
Because the moment we stop performing for the world, we finally begin to live for ourselves.
Maybe the Bhagavad Gita was never asking us to stop caring about results.
Maybe it was asking us not to lose ourselves while chasing them.
So perhaps the real freedom in life is not in being approved by everyone…
but in being able to live honestly, peacefully, and authentically with ourselves.
— Shock
