The Habit of Seeking Approval!

“ಮನ್ನಣೆಯ ದಾಹ ಎಲ್ಲಕು ಮೊದಲು ತಿನ್ನುವುದು ಆತ್ಮವನ್ನೇ.”

- ಡಿ.ವಿ. ಗುಂಡಪ್ಪ (ಡಿವಿಜಿ)

The thirst for validation destroys the soul before anything else.

The more I grow, observe people, and reflect on life, the more I realize how deeply society runs on validation.

Some seek validation through success.

Some through appearance.

Some through social status.

And many, without even realizing it, slowly begin to live entirely based on what others think of them.

And that is where the problem begins!

Because a person constantly dependent on validation: cannot rest, cannot be authentic, cannot live freely.

Their happiness is always tied to someone else’s opinion.

Somewhere along the way, many of us stopped living and started performing.

We smile for acceptance.

We hide emotions to appear strong.

We chase achievements not always because we want them—but because they make us look valuable in society.

Even pain today seeks approval.

And social media has only amplified this further.

Likes became self-worth.

Attention became achievement.

Visibility became value. 

I also feel this quietly affects mental health more than we realize.

Take something as common as body shaming, A person may be perfectly healthy, kind, capable, and emotionally strong. Yet one careless comment about appearance can slowly shake their confidence—not because the comment defines them, but because society conditioned them to seek acceptance externally.

I sometimes notice this in workplaces too—especially in IT culture.

With deadlines, responsibilities, and constant expectations, it is natural for many of us to value appreciation and acknowledgment. A kind word from a manager, recognition in a meeting, or a good appraisal can genuinely motivate and encourage us.

But somewhere along the way, if we are not careful, we may slowly begin depending too much on external validation to feel confident about ourselves.

And over time, that can quietly become tiring emotionally.

That is emotional dependency disguised as ambition.

Over time, I’ve started asking myself a simple question:

If nobody applauded me, would I still do what I’m doing?

That question changes everything.

Because authenticity begins where performance ends.

Authenticity is not rebellion.

It is not carelessness.

It simply means:

- being comfortable with who we are

without constantly editing ourselves for acceptance!

And honestly, this is easier said than done.

We all want to be understood. Appreciated. Accepted.

That is human.

But somewhere, a line must exist between: 👉 seeking love

and

👉 losing ourselves for approval.

There’s a line I once heard, and despite my broken Hindi 😅, it stayed with me deeply:

“Woh tha zindagi mein… jab tak zinda tha, woh sochta raha — ‘woh chaar log kya kahenge?’

Lekin marne ke waqt poocha — ‘kahan hai woh chaar log?’

Kabhi mile hi nahi.”

How true is that.

So much of life is sacrificed for imaginary audiences.

People postpone happiness.

Hide their truth.

Suppress their individuality.

All because of “log kya kahenge.”

And in the process, they slowly drift away from themselves.

Maybe real peace begins when:

appreciation becomes optional.

authenticity becomes natural.

and self-worth comes from within.

Not from applause!

Because at the end of the day, no amount of external validation can compensate for inner emptiness.

So today, I remind myself of something simple.

Live honestly.

Express freely.

Improve continuously.

But don’t let the need for validation consume your peace.

Because the moment we stop performing for the world, we finally begin to live for ourselves.

Maybe the Bhagavad Gita was never asking us to stop caring about results.

Maybe it was asking us not to lose ourselves while chasing them.

So perhaps the real freedom in life is not in being approved by everyone…

but in being able to live honestly, peacefully, and authentically with ourselves.

— Shock

The Witness Within!

There are moments in life that don’t ask for belief.

They don’t demand logic either.

They simply… happen.

And in those moments, I’ve felt something unusual —

as if I’ve witnessed gods speaking to each other,

as if I’ve seen a human stand before something far greater than himself.

Not in a supernatural sense.

Not in blind superstition.

But in retrospect — in awareness.

I’ve seen questions I once carried quietly within me

unfold into answers… right in front of my eyes.

Not loudly.

Not dramatically.

But undeniably.

And in that space, I also witnessed something deeper —

a silent duel.

Between truth and faith.

Between belief and doubt.

Both equally strong.

Both equally convincing.

For a moment, the mind wants to take control.

To analyse. To question. To label.

To decide what is real and what is not.

But then a realization settles in —

Who am I to question something I’m not even part of?

Not everything we experience is meant to be solved.

Some things are meant to be felt.

The essence of a miracle is not in proving it.

Not in defending it.

Not in denying it.

It is in experiencing it.

In receiving it.

In celebrating it.

In simply feeling… blessed.

Because perhaps the universe doesn’t always speak in answers.

Sometimes, it speaks in experiences —

and leaves the understanding to unfold within us.

We often look outward, trying to find our place in this vast existence.

We search in the skies, in knowledge, in endless questioning.

But your place in this universe

is not found by looking deeper into space.

It is found by going deeper into yourself.

And that journey…

is not comfortable for everyone.

Because it demands stillness.

It demands honesty.

It demands letting go of control.

So the real question is not what you witnessed.

The real question is —

Are you ready to witness yourself?

And perhaps, as echoed in the wisdom of the Bhagavad Gita —

you are not here to control every outcome,

nor to decode every mystery that unfolds before you.

You are here to experience,

to act with sincerity,

and to surrender the rest.

When you stop trying to own every answer,

you begin to receive every moment.

When you stop questioning every miracle,

you begin to recognize the divine in it.

And when you finally turn inward —

not with doubt, but with awareness —

you realize,

you were never just a witness to the universe.

You were always, a part of its unfolding.

- Shock 

Reminder to Self: Reset, Recharge, Rebound and Recalibrate.

There are phases in life where everything feels aligned. Things fall into place. Efforts feel meaningful. There is a sense of rhythm.

And then, there are phases where things slowly drift.

Not in a big, noticeable way.
Just small shifts. Missed intentions. Delayed actions. A sense that something is slightly off.

And before I realize it, I’m not out of control—but I’m not fully in it either.

For a long time, I thought the goal was to stay consistent at all times, to never break rhythm.

But life doesn’t work that way.

Now I’m beginning to understand something much simpler.

It’s not about never falling off track.
It’s about knowing how to come back to it.

That’s where this reminder comes in.

Reset. Recharge. Rebound. Recalibrate.

---

Reset

For me, a reset is not about starting over.
It is about starting again—with awareness.

Without overthinking what didn’t go right.
Without carrying unnecessary weight from the past.

Just pausing… and beginning again.

---

Recharge

Sometimes, what looks like inconsistency is actually exhaustion.

We keep pushing, expecting ourselves to always be at the same level.
But life demands energy—from work, from relationships, from responsibilities.

Taking a moment to recharge is not stepping back.
It is preparing to move forward better.

---

Rebound

What matters is not how perfectly we move forward,
but how honestly we return.

Rebounding is not about intensity.
It is about intention.

A small step.
A conscious action.
A simple decision to show up again.

---

Recalibrate

This is something I’m learning deeply.

Recalibration is what sustains consistency.

Because consistency is not about perfection.
It is about adjustment.

Understanding where I am.
Realigning with what matters.
And continuing—without pressure.

---

Anchor to Identity

Instead of chasing outcomes, I’m learning to anchor myself to identity.

Not what I have to do,
but who I choose to be.

Because when identity is clear, actions follow naturally.

---

Rebuild Momentum

I used to wait for motivation.

But I’ve realized—motivation is temporary, discipline is permanent… and momentum is what brings it back.

Momentum is built in small ways:

• showing up
• doing what I can
• repeating it

And more importantly, acknowledging those small efforts.

Giving myself credit for showing up—even when it’s not perfect.

---

There is one simple thought I keep coming back to:

Control what you can. Accept what you can’t.

I cannot control everything that happens.
But I can always choose my next step.

And maybe that is where my real power lies.

---

I recently came across a line from Virat Kohli, said in a witty way, that stayed with me:

“If you win, you celebrate. If not, you recalibrate.” 😁

And it couldn’t be simpler than that.

Because life is not about getting it right every time.
It’s about knowing how to respond when things don’t go as planned.

---

So this is a reminder to myself.

Not to chase perfection.
Not to be hard on myself.

But to:

Reset. Recharge. Rebound. Recalibrate.

And simply… show up again.

While I write this, I find myself thinking—

This is where my journey of recovery began 6 months ago.
And today, I find myself back at what looks like "square one"—but this time, not the same person.

This time, I start again with experience, awareness, and a little more wisdom.

If this resonates with you in any way, I’d love to hear your experience too.

— Shock

Easter — A Quiet Reminder of Hope

Easter, as widely understood, marks the resurrection of Jesus Christ—a symbol of hope, renewal, and the triumph of life over suffering. It reminds us that even after the darkest phases, there is always a possibility of rising again.

For those who follow Jesus, Easter is also a reminder of his sacrifice, his compassion, and his unwavering faith in love and forgiveness—even in the face of suffering. That message, to me, goes beyond religion. It speaks to something deeply human—the strength to endure, to forgive, and to rise again with hope.

When I reflect on Easter, I don’t just see it as a celebration. I see it as a reminder.

A reminder that life will test us. There will be phases where things feel uncertain, heavy, and even unfair. But somewhere within that, there is always a chance to begin again.

Not everything in life goes the way we expect. Not every effort gives immediate results. But Easter, in its own way, tells me that endings are not always the end—sometimes they are just a transition.

What also stands out to me is the idea of empathy.

When I look around, I realize that many people are going through silent battles. Struggles that are not visible. Emotions that are not expressed. And often, we move through life without noticing them.

Maybe as a society, this is what we need to take from Easter—not just hope for ourselves, but assurance for others.

A small act of kindness.

A moment of listening.

A gesture that says, “You’re not alone.”

Because sometimes, that is all it takes for someone to rise again.

I also feel that celebrations like Easter are not just about remembering what happened, but about asking ourselves a simple question:

What does this mean in my life today?

Am I holding on to hope when things don’t go my way?

Am I showing empathy to people around me?

Am I allowing myself and others the space to heal and begin again?

Maybe that is where the real meaning lies.

Not just in worship.

But in understanding.

Not just in belief.

But in how we live that belief.

So this Easter, I remind myself of something simple.

To hold on to hope.

To be kinder than necessary.

To give people the space to rise, just like I would want for myself.

Because in the end, hope is not something we wait for. It is something we choose.

Wishing everyone a peaceful and hopeful Easter.

— Shock

This Ram Navami — Beyond Worship

Ram Navami is often seen as a celebration. The birth of Lord Rama. The embodiment of dharma. The ideal human — Maryada Purushottama.

But every year, I find myself asking a simple question.

Is this day only about remembering Rama?

Or is it about understanding what Rama stood for—and what it means for us today?

We call Rama the ideal man. A man of principles. A symbol of truth, discipline, and righteousness. But what makes him relevant even today is not just what he did… but how we interpret what he did.

Because the world Rama lived in is not the world we live in today.

It has been yugas.

Time has changed. Society has changed. Situations have changed. But one thing hasn’t changed—the need for clarity in how we choose to live.

When we listen to the Ramayana, we often divide everything into two simple categories—good and bad. Right and wrong. But life is rarely that simple.

What is right from one perspective may not be right from another.

There is a saying I once came across:

"In a jungle, do not expect the lion not to eat you just because you won’t eat it".

Life operates on its own rules. And understanding those rules requires more than devotion—it requires awareness and interpretation.

So maybe Ram Navami is not just about worshipping Rama. Maybe it is about learning how to think like him.

To understand: 

When to stand firm on principles

When to adapt

When to act

And when to accept

Because dharma is not always fixed.

It is not a rulebook. It is a responsibility.

A responsibility to act with awareness, integrity, and balance in the situation we are in.

And that is not easy.

If anything, it requires more effort today than ever before.

Because today, we are not just influenced by society—we are overwhelmed by it. Opinions, expectations, judgments… everywhere.

In all this noise, it becomes easier to follow blindly than to think deeply. But Rama’s life was never about blind following. It was about conscious living.

There is something else I’ve started to realize; We often try to take only the “good” from these stories and reject the “difficult” or uncomfortable parts. But both matter. The right things should inspire us. The wrong—or what feels wrong—should make us think. Because both are part of understanding. After all, good and bad are often just two ends of a perspective.

So this Ram Navami, maybe we can pause for a moment.

Not just to pray.

But to reflect.

To ask ourselves:

What does dharma mean in my life today?

Am I living by awareness, or just by habit?

Am I following, or am I understanding?

Because celebrating Rama is not just about devotion.

It is about direction.

A direction towards living with clarity, responsibility, and empathy.

And maybe, in today’s world, that is what we need the most.

— Shock

This Ugadi… Unveil Yourself❤️

Ugadi has always been a special festival at home. For us, it is more than just the beginning of a new year—it is a reminder that life constantly renews itself. A new calendar page, a new season, a new energy. With it comes a quiet invitation to pause, reflect, and begin again.

Every Ugadi, we celebrate with the traditional bevu-bella—a beautiful mix of bitterness and sweetness. It reminds us that the coming year, like life itself, will carry many flavors. Joy and challenges, comfort and uncertainty, victories and lessons. Yet we welcome it all with hope.

Over time, I have begun to see another meaning in this festival.

A new year is not only about new resolutions or new plans. It is also an opportunity to unveil ourselves.

Somewhere along the journey of life, layers quietly begin to build around us. Expectations, responsibilities, insecurities, the need to be accepted, the fear of being misunderstood. Without even realizing it, we start wearing masks—versions of ourselves designed to fit into the world around us.

For a long time, I believed life was about becoming someone new. About building a stronger personality, proving capability, achieving milestones, earning validation. But slowly I’ve started to feel that life might actually be about something much simpler.

Maybe life is not about becoming, but about revealing.

Unveiling ourselves means gently removing the layers that hide our authentic nature. It means allowing ourselves to be honest, even when honesty feels uncomfortable. It means realizing that authenticity is not perfection—it is simply being real.

In a world that constantly encourages polished appearances, choosing authenticity can feel vulnerable. But I have come to understand that vulnerability is not weakness. It is a quiet form of courage. It is allowing yourself to be seen exactly as you are—still learning, still growing, still human.

The more I reflect on this, the more I realize that our true self does not need to be built. It already exists beneath the surface. Our task is simply to uncover it.

And this process does not happen overnight. It requires reflection, patience, and honesty with ourselves. Sometimes it even requires letting go of the version of us that others are comfortable with.

But every time we move a little closer to our authentic self, something shifts. Life feels lighter. The pressure to maintain an image fades. What remains is a quiet freedom—the freedom to simply be.

In many ways, it feels like unveiling a sculpture hidden inside stone. The beauty was always there. It only needed patience and courage to remove what was unnecessary.

Perhaps that is what Ugadi is truly reminding us.

A new year is not just a new calendar—it is an opportunity to rediscover who we are. To reset our intentions. To live with greater honesty, empathy, and awareness.

This Ugadi, I remind myself of something simple.

Unveil yourself.

Not to impress the world.

Not to prove anything to anyone.

But to live with authenticity and peace.

And maybe, just maybe, when one person begins to live honestly, it quietly encourages others to do the same.

Wishing you and your loved ones a very happy Ugadi—a year filled with clarity, courage, empathy, and new beginnings.

May this new year bring you the strength to reveal your true self and the wisdom to live it fully.

— Shock